cedar, 4.5 months, canon 50d

Momma had way too much fun with hair gel. ; )

Before I had Cedar, I told my husband that I probably won't be that new mom that always posts photos of her baby on my blog. I suppose I am surprising myself because truly, I just can't resist sharing with all of you the special moments of my days with him. This moment above was one of them. I dressed him up like a rockabilly baby and he blessed me with baby giggles when I put gel in his hair. I am not sure if this look is really him. I think he's more of a boho-hippy soul but it was supremely fun, nonetheless.

I want to be sensitive to my readers that are still longing, trying, hoping for a baby of their own. My wish is that Cedar and his sweet spirit and dreamy gray/blue eyes will give hope to so many. Hope that whether you create your family through adoption or fertility treatments or naturally conceiving, that if you have a deep desire to be a mom, that desire is there for a reason.

So many days I wondered why my desire was there, when it just felt like month after month, year after year, it just wasn't going to come to fruition. My desire was there because Cedar was meant for us 4.5 years after we started longing for him.

The other day the three of us were snuggled up on the couch. Cedar between a mommy/daddy sandwich. It is these moments that Boho Boy and I look at one another and sigh and think how absolutely perfect he is for us in every. single. way. We always say to one another at those times..."I LOVE HIM! This is our son, honey." Mmmmmm. So fricken worth the wait, dudes.

So, I hope these photos are more pleasing than annoying. More helpful than hurtful. More hopeful than hopeless.

Love,
the mommy that said she wouldn't but can't stop