photo by deb schwedhelm

The decision has been made. What made it easier was that a sweet woman directed me to a salon, somewhere outside of California, that does dreads the way they do it in Thailand. Crocheted deliciousness. I have decided to get smaller dreads as well, so that it is more flowy...and more my style. The salon has a very gentle, empathetic, warm approach to the process, offering phone counseling for questions and creative ideas to suit each person. They are very thorough about what I will experience week one through week eight and beyond and how they will support the journey. I am so very impressed.

My darling Dread Head kit will be returned (unless someone wants to buy it from me...let me know). I still would like to have a dread party. A ceremony of sorts with some lovelies. Stacy thought of a sweet idea where they could each bring a bead to put on their favorite dread. I love that idea. I would be carrying around a tribe of friendship gems in my hair.

This has been a very tender process for me. Especially the last few days after sharing it with all of you. I try to be thick skinned in regards to the Internet and being open and vulnerable, knowing that there will be people out there that will not be so gentle in return. With each post and each anonymous comment laced with sarcasm, jealousy or harshness, I walk away knowing it isn't personal. Knowing that there is always a root which has nothing to do with me and everything to do with what they are going through. I try to empathize with that person and wish that they will occupy their moments with fulfilling their own dreams and desires rather than spending a single second on little old me and my heart wishes and spillings.

Although, to be bashfully honest, the past few days I haven't felt so thick skinned. It hurts a wee bit when people tell me something along the lines of me getting dreads would be "trying too hard to be boho" and suggest that I "just be me". This among other things said. All I can say is that if you have been reading my blog for a few years, you would know that I don't know how to be any other way...but me. You would also know that my whole point in doing this is that I don't want my long flowy hair to define me. I don't want dreadlocks to define me. I don't want my hair to define me at all. I am Denise...I am Boho Girl regardless if I have hair or not. Boho is my soul, my heart, my way of being...not my appearance. Even though I express myself in a unique way with my clothing and hats or what have you, anyone that knows me and loves me doesn't look at those things. They see my heart. My spirit. My soul.

I realize full well that by putting my heart out here, I am taking huge risks with being misunderstood. I am also opening myself up to opinions that differ and perhaps may even hurt. That's okay. I've been writing a blog since December, 2005. I get that and embrace it as part of the process. But today I just felt like voicing that it isn't always easy to shake it off, especially when it is about tender stuff. Today was one of those days.

With all of that said I know many of you gentle, loving supporters will tell me it was unnecessary to defend my feelings on this. I agree with you. But sometimes a girl just needs to get it off of her weighted chest and most of you know I am all about releasing it for the greater good of peace and balance in my life and home. Having spilled this, I am wiping my hands of it and moving one step forward at a time. The comments that do resonate with me are so very powerful in a sense that you are all echoing my heart and lifting up my soul. The comments that don't resonate, I will not allow to take away any power from me. A huge lesson throughout life, non?

On a lighter note. My heart has filled up and is fluttering. I always feel like this when I make a decision that is truly magical and represents a beautiful transition in my life. How perfect was it that Deb took all these romantic photos of me before I flew to a salon to get dreads? I will always cherish these images of my hair blowing in the wind. A sweet smelling wind telling stories of a girl that once was and a woman that now is.