self portrait taken today, canon 50d
This was taken in honor of the insightful and wise and courageous Brene Brown and her "Perfect Protest". I haven't yet read her book The Gifts of Imperfection but it is on my reading list. Although this is such a good time for me to join the fight against perfection. As I get ready to transition into a new journey with my upcoming e-course, my emotions are heightened as all the fears come rushing in and my energy moves towards hushing and releasing those negative voices. I notice whenever I launch into something entirely different on my path, it becomes a very raw time for me and in order for me to keep breathing and being open, perfection needs to take a mighty hike.
Today I am sending love to my curvy, soft body that hasn't consistently exercised in a long while. Sending love to my guilty feelings about being unable to stay consistent with any one way of eating...even if it makes me feel better. Sending love to all of those tender bits and so much more. Perhaps I need to not only embrace imperfection but inconsistency! ; )
Its also a very tender time for me in regards to parenting Cedar, as he too moves through the passionate emotions he feels about the world and people surrounding him. Today I left Java Mama and called my sister, just asking for space to cry and spill as I navigate this extremely imperfect world of teamwork with my son. There was a time, as the youngest of three girls, I felt like I had to have it all together with my sisters. Now, my life journey has made me really honor the parts of my life that feel completely undone and rather than feel weak as I shared with her today, I felt stronger for being bravely honest.
One of the reasons I wanted dreads on my head was to be a reminder to settle into the idea of being imperfect. The letting go of my hair to be any specific way and allowing for the messy bits, the constant shifts and change and unpredictability. Having dreadlocks has helped me to see how beautiful chaos can be.
My fertility journey paralleled that deep life lesson and I am grateful that my dread journey holds that space in my life too.
This perfect protest has helped me to not feel alone.