Cedar does this so often. He wants me to sit and watch as he runs down a hill, towards me, then on top of me...to end with a mini boy hug (aka wrestle on the ground). I thought it would be fun to capture it today.
Lately I have discovered the wonder of audio books. Since Cedar came into our lives, I have not had the attention span, nor the time, to sit and read a book. I can skim through it quickly or jump around only to read a few sentences before I end up falling asleep or distracted in some way. I don't know why it took me so long to come up with the idea of listening to an audio book while doing chores or hanging with Cedar. It's brilliant!!! And I love that he is being read to as well. Although, the one I save for his nap time is "Connection Parenting...Parenting through Connection Rather than Coercion and Love instead of Fear" by Pam Leo. Oh man, this one is full of wisdom that wraps around my heart and hugs it tight. I find myself weepy while doing laundry and picking up his toys from ideas that resonate so deeply with me and also comfort my inner little girl.
So far, here are a few gems that I wrote down. Will share more soon...
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"We are less likely to pass on our past hurts to our children when we do our own healing work."
"Once we understand that uncooperative behavior is a communication of a child's unmet need, a hurt, or a response to an adults unrealistic expectation, we do not have to take the behavior so personally."
"We create a strong bond over time when we lovingly and consistently meet our child's needs."
"When we learn to relate in ways that show children that their needs and feelings matter, we strengthen the bond and avoid power struggles."
"Very young children learn conflict resolution when we model it."
"We teach children that every one's needs are important by honoring their needs. From our example, they learn to honor other's needs."
"Children are delightful to be with when their needs are being met and nothing is hurting them."
"Whenever a child responds negatively to a reasonable request, we look for a hidden hurt or the unmet need. Once we acknowledge every one's needs, we can work on problem solving."
"I've learned to say...'When you behave that way, I know something is wrong. We love each other and people who love each other don't treat one another this way. Can you tell me what you need or what is hurting you?' If I can remember to stop and ask that one simple question, it changes the whole concept of the power struggle. That question communicates "I love you and what you feel is important to me."
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Such good stuff...and really resonates with my soul. I find myself so much more present with Cedar these days. So much more forgiving of myself in those moments when I am more reactive and then I hold him and talk with him about it. I feel as though my mind and heart are opening wider to who Cedar is and what triggers him and how I can do my best to create an environment where he feels seen and heard and loved consistently. Right now this mama business is SO my greatest teacher.