When we first moved into this house, subconsciously I felt pressure to tame the land. I don't even know why, really, except that the landlord is a master gardener and that may have had something to do with it. I don't consider myself a master in anything and never have. I flow from passion to passion and never stay long enough and when I return, there has been so much change that I learn all over again. I also feel most comfy creating from my intuition because once I start reading books or taking classes or being guided, as an empath and a Virgo, I find myself influenced to the point of losing my own way, with a strong need to please and have everything aligned. I am more aware now than I ever have been about this, so I am learning...learning to be guided and yet still hear my own intuition. To pause and find my own way. Its a process, each time a gentle process.
We are buying this house soon. Our landlord lives very near and when she sees me outside, she loves to come and talk with me about all the flowers she planted and how to take care of them and what she thinks I should keep. She has a passion for roses and they are everywhere. I have a passion for the loose and flowy. For months I have felt it is all still hers, which essentially, it is until we buy the house and land. I was aware she had a certain way of doing things and it wasn't necessarily how I may have nurtured the land.
As the time of buying the house approaches, I feel myself leaning more into the land and its whispering to me. I see the landlord roaming less and less and I am finally allowing myself the freedom to dig my hands into the earth and connect. This is the first time in my adult life that I have this much land and rather than allowing myself to get overwhelmed, I am connecting one piece at a time.
Because of this slow process of me connecting, so much wildness, weeds and wildflowers have grown around the home and what I am learning is that I love the wildness. Wild, flowy and free are what speak to my soul. Fullness and height with paths carved for walking through call to me. Perhaps its the feeling of shelter and quiet it brings. This being drawn to wildness makes sense as I've never been a manicured person. I've always been a bit unkept and so has my husband and I suppose this is part of why we were drawn to each other.
The more I grow into my skin and mySELF, the more free I feel to be in my wildness. The contained~ness of my Virgo self is releasing, opening, growing, expanding and with that, so is my land.
{this is the tub she used to use beneath a shelter of grapevines. mmm...i cannot stop envisioning how romantic i can create this space to bathe}
Just like with our upcoming ecourse, where Rain and I see ourselves as doulas, walking along side, not in front of, the sisters that will become part of that tribe, I feel the same way with my land. I walk along side my land. I will be open to what it has to teach me and together we will learn how to live and be together and birth wild and lush.
I named our land Wild Fae. ; )