nourish

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its all about The Mother*

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I was talking to my marmie last night and she had me giggling hard. It was SO good to hear such pep in her voice. She sounded so alive. Its been a long time since I heard her excited about even the small things...a new kitchen faucet, a new vacuum and a new DRINK that has her preaching on corners. Usually I am the one that calls her with some fabulous new way of eating or herb or concoction of sorts that is supposed to transform your well being, so it was fun to be on the receiving end at a time when I needed to hear it.

Some of you may remember my post a bit ago about her health. Well, she has been healing slowly and has put back on some of her weight that she lost but it is what she recently discovered that is accelerating her healing. She's been drinking Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar every morning. She said within 3 days, she found herself doing more around the house and then eventually she noticed she had long periods of energy bursts and overall her well being feels more balanced.

I phoned her the other day a bit of a weepy mess. For months now, I have felt constant flu-like symptoms. Sort of like a cold that is about to explode but it never goes too far. We got a new health insurance and I am not too crazy about our doctor. He just seems so disinterested and unhappy with his own lot. So of course we always think about my naturopath. I have complete faith in her work and her mind and her drive and her care of me. But our insurance doesn't cover her...so its always about saving and waiting. Anyways, I was crying to my marmie on the phone. Just needing to be heard and to list all the weird things I am feeling in my body: sore throat, headache, achy bones, exhaustion...even when I get a full night's rest, stuffy head, heavy chest and how sometimes its not that noticeable and sometimes it makes me crash but never enough to completely freak me out until recently. Mainly the last few months I have been so focused on Cedar and Boho Boy has had his own health issues, that I just sort of fluffed it off to allergies or asthma (which I have had all of my life). So she listened intently and told me to contact my naturopath pronto. Its funny how sometimes all you need is a little push from your mother. I wrote my naturopath that evening.

The next day I received a note back and she asked me about the air quality in our home because my symptoms lead her to believe it may be contributing. Then it was like my eyes opened up wider and a fog slipped away and for the first time that made the most sense to me. Five or so months ago, we had to rip apart parts of walls for a plumbing issue. Huge chunks of drywall missing and lots of open exposure in four different rooms. Well, the holidays happened and then life got incredibly busy and we both simply forgot about it, even though it is glaring us in the face every day. The air quality in our home must completely suck and neither one of us even thought of it or attributed it to our most recent health issues. This is SO not like us to not be mindful about this stuff (especially my husband), so it goes to show you how foggy brained we have been.

We are on top of it, getting it fixed right away but what is interesting, is even just the awareness that this is what is mostly likely causing so much of what we've been going through, has felt healing. We feel terrible about not being more mindful about it...more importantly for Cedar and thank goodness he has a stellar immune system and has not been ill.

A huge weight has been lifted from me because part of me felt I was going mad and wondering how on earth I was feeling so crappy when I have been putting a lot of intention into being healthy and natural in all ways. Anyways, when I talked to my mother to tell her what we think it might be, she was so relieved and agreed it made perfect sense and then went on and on about Braggs Apple Cider Vinegar. ; ) She got me so pumped about it that I took Cedar to Whole Foods right when I got off the phone with her to pick up a bottle.

She said "make sure it says 'with The Mother' on the bottle. It's all about The Mother!!" And getting off the phone with her I thought to myself how right she is.

Today was my first day drinking it. I find it lighter tasting than Kombucha. Kombucha always made me feel drunk. Which is awesome and fun but not conducive to my life right now. ; )

I will let you know how awesome I feel on this stuff.  See...I am already manifesting.

You can read about the benefits here.

So, this is what she's been drinking every morning...

  • 8oz cold water
  • 2 tsp Bragg's ACV
  • 2 tsp organic honey (preferably local)
  • stir well until dissolved. tastes better with straw!  make sure to do it in morning or early afternoon.

a few yummy things*

Boho Boy's Tabbouleh

Boho Boy makes this for us every week and is now going to start making a huge bowl every Sunday so we can munch on it all week long. It is DELICIOUS, although by the combination of ingredients, some may not think it sounds so. Trust us! My hubs made a big batch for my family at my marmie's house during Thanksgiving. My father practically licked his bowl and he is SO picky about raw veggie type dishes. It is so so good for you. Parsley helps to cleanse out the toxins in your kidneys...which is what Boho Boy needs right now. We all need it. ; )

He doesn't follow measurements, so I will do my best to write it down in recipe form. We love to eat it with a grilled cheese sandwich (I know, not so healthy) and hummus. Or, I like to stack two corn tortillas, smear pizza or pasta sauce on top, sprinkle it with goat cheese and heat it up like a pizza.  I then cut them into triangles and dip them into the tabbouleh with hummus (like you see in photo above...YUM).

He has always chopped everything really fine. The last time he did it (in photo above) he tried making it chunkier, which we loved just as much and noticed it lasted longer. So, the chopping size is up to you!

The good stuff: 2 large bunches (or four small bunches) of fresh organic parsley 1 sweet yellow onion chopped 1 medium organic cucumber chopped into tiny cubes 4 stalks organic celery chopped 2 large (or 3 medium) tomatoes finely chopped 1/4 cup fresh mint finely chopped (optional) 4 cloves of garlic crushed 2 cups cooked and cooled Quinoa* (we cook it an hour before and lay it on a cookie sheet to cool) *Quinoa is for gluten free peeps. Bulgar wheat is typically used or couscous if you don't want to do gluten free.

Dressing (you'll have to guess on this one. its a huge bowl and we like ours drenched so each forkful is tangy goodness) olive oil lemon

Spices: garlic salt (or sea salt and garlic powder) tajin

Directions: Chop the veggies and put in large bowl (make sure you will have room to toss, so I suggest your biggest bowl). Slowly toss in (already cooled) Quinoa Slowly toss in crushed garlic Sprinkle in a bit of garlic salt (or sea salt and garlic powder) Sprinkle in a bit of Tajin (i like a lot of this!) Slowly pour in dressing and toss (taste to make sure if you want more olive oil and lemon) *Serve with hummus and your favorite kind of bread or sandwich or quesadilla or whatever cheesy bready thing sounds good. I dip my grilled cheese or mini pizzas or quesadillas into the hummus and then dip it again into the Tabbouleh. Sooooo good.

kris carr's green smoothies

I read about this smoothie over at my dear friend Susannah's blog (aka one of my very first blog friends transformed into face to face friend). She interviewed the VERY inspirational Kris Carr (Kris's story and her healthy ways were so healing to me during my fertility journey). In her interview, she talked about this green smoothie she drinks every morning. I tried it this weekend and LOVED it. I eat an avocado every single day and this is the first time I tried it in a smoothie, believe it or not. Avocados make my skin feel glowy.  Cedar loves them lightly sprinkled with sea salt!  One of the first foods he ever ate.

Kris Carr’s Green Smoothie

Makes enough for 2 people. You can adjust the recipe accordingly. My taste buds are different than yours so don’t be afraid to play!

-1 avocado -1-2 pieces of low glycemic fruit: we love green apple, pear, berries & cantaloupe -1 cucumber -A bit of kale or romaine or spinach -Coconut water (or purified water) -Stevia to taste (i used agave nectar) *You can also add a sprinkle of cinnamon and some cacao. *You can also use coconut meat or almond butter or nut milk in place of avocado

And the final yum thing:

Here was our home a few days ago...

And here it is sans the couch and replaced with a new Papasan chair from Cost Plus World Market:

Inspired by so many of your comments (and a dear friend who is creating a magical, functional and healing space for their family), we are in the process of transforming our home into a low stress "yes" environment for our Cedar. I'll write more about that soon.

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its the journey, not the destination*

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The other day I was walking on the grass at the park with Cedar. I had my iPhone ready to capture some moments of him during play. I ended up tripping a bit on a wee hole and falling. My phone went flying. I heard the camera go off. This image above is what was captured. The red you see are my favorite pair of pants that I live in. The flare is from the sun. I think you can see a whirl of green grass even.  So much beauty captured before landing to the ground.  Which reminds me of a quote.  "Its the Journey, not the destination...".

I am sure some of you have sensed by my quietness here and what I have shared that there has been a lot going on with our Boho Family.  Just a lot.  There has been some heavy emotional terrain within my immediate family that my sensitive heart has taken on.  Then there has been Boho Boy and his health not being where he needs it to be with a chronic sinus infection, kidney stones and a bladder infection.  We are information geeks and he is most comfy with holistic treatments, so that takes energy to find what suits his body and to continue to be mindful of what could be causing this for him.  Then there is our precious Cedar and the entrance into his two years on this earth where his body and mind are growing fast beyond his communication skills.  A space where he needs to release all these new sensations physically and emotionally and unless we are fully present, there is an abundance of emotion expressed.  He is our spiritedly passionate, wild, sprite, gnome boy who deeply wants others to be in his imaginary world...right there with him and he senses when we're not.  ; )  I think because of all this, preparing to uproot ourselves into a new home and a few other things, I feel like I am always on the verge of having a cold.  That achy, tired, sore throaty feeling.  Sometimes it goes away only to come back later that evening or the next day.  Having both Celiac since birth and endometriosis, two auto immune disorders, I know this means I don't have the most stellar immune system.  Usually when there are big things going on for me emotionally, my body absorbs it and releases it through a bit of illness.   I usually know what to do to prevent such things but with all this whirly stuff going on, I have to be honest in that my focus hasn't been on taking the best care of myself.  We've all been there.  These seasons within our bodies and the ebb and flow of self care depending on how much energy we can give ourselves.  I think those periods of time when it feels this way is called Survival Mode.

So this brings me to my e-course.  My husband and I sat down the other night and got a bit real with something we've been trying to ignore.  Registrations for my e-course are coming up and neither one of us feel as prepared as we had planned.  On his end, he is designing a gorgeous feature for my Nectar Girls and has not had enough time to finish it.  He had to take on a few more clients for his database design business in order to build up his clientele for when he goes independent and the work load is greater than he had envisioned.  On my end, with all that has been going on, I wondered how I would guide so many soulful women to get in touch with their nectar, when mine was feeling undernourished.  Throughout my life journey, it has been so important for me to remain authentic and when I teach this course, I need to be in alignment with the truth that I am sharing.  There are so many elements to this course that are nourishing and what I need to do in order to feel in a place to teach is to make them my practice and reconnect with my own nectar.

So many fears surfaced about me postponing my course.  I worried that many of you would lose interest and not be there when I finally felt ready.  I felt a bit like I had failed myself, failed you...and my vision.  The hours following that discussion with my husband, I wasn't very gentle with myself.  When I get like this, I put a call out to my soul sisters to help me clear the muck, quiet the voices that are false and get back to my truths.  One of them said to me; "I think one of the many reasons so many of us admire you is because you always honor what's right for you. This is just another example of you honoring the space you are in." and another said "You are wise and brave and you are teaching more by doing this than you ever could by teaching about nourishment when you yourself were undernourished!" Man, I felt so loved and understood and blessed to be surrounded by gentle teachers.  Their support confirmed so much to me what my heart was aching to say to myself, to all of you.  I just want to always keep it real and I couldn't pretend in order to live up to what was expected of me.  When I shared it with my sister last night, she said that she had a feeling it would be too much but what I love about her is that she allows me to figure it out on my own. Another friend reminded me of being on an airplane and the flight attendants telling us to put our oxygen masks on first before we put them on our children. I need to breathe first before I can help another breathe.

I also feel so deeply that this journey I am currently walking on will become part of my course.  As I am shifting and evolving through this process, so will what I share with you.  The timing will be just what it is supposed to be.  I don't know when yet but as soon as i begins to feel right, I will announce the new date.  We are imagining mid Summer, after our move.

Just as in the photo above, the unplanned, unexpected and down right messy can turn out to be quite beautiful because our lives are about the journey and not the destination. This time, this ebb, this mess... is all part of that beauty.

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Sponsor GIVEaway*

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Vivienne McMaster is a Vancouver, B.C. based photographer who is on a mission to help people create images in which they feel seen for their true selves. Through her own journey with self-portraiture she has gathered tips, prompts and ideas to help women to turn the cameras on themselves and to like what they see. She has some unique approaches to self-portraiture that explore its healing potential and the way it can transform our relationship to beauty.

She runs a 6 week online course called You are Your Muse which dives into finding our visual voice, telling our stories, exploring light, finding our beauty and learning how to getting to know our cameras can help us get images we adore. You are Your Own Muse does dive deep and invites participants to look inwards as they create images that invite empowerment of our physical selves as well.

She has launched a new session of You are Your Own Muse and is also offering a brand new 4 week e-course called Wading In: Dipping Our Toes into Self-Portraiture which is designed for participants just beginning their self-portrait journey. Wading In invites participants on a playful, whimsical adventure. Through videos and fun posts you'll be invited along on photo walks with Vivienne and be inspired to dip your toes into inviting yourself into your photos!

Today Vivienne is giving away one spot to Wading In which starts January 17th.

Giveaway Rules:

  • To enter, leave a comment
  • It can be one word or many telling us who or what is your current muse
  • Comments will be open until Sunday, January 16th at 10pm PST
  • Winner will be chosen at random.org
  • Winner will be announced on Monday, January 17th
  • I may do another post between now and then but will direct readers to this post so you can still enter

{all images in this post were taken by Vivienne}

ps. I have a new Facebook account for my ecourse: BohoGirl Denise

tagines*

tagine1

I didn't even know what a tagine was until we walked into a Le Creuset outlet store this past weekend.  The assistant manager showed us how to cook with it and I found the cookbook Tagines & Couscous on their shelf.  After flipping through a few pages of their mouth watering recipes, we both said SOLD!

On the 40 minute drive home, while Cedar was singing to reggae, Boho Boy and I were talking about our new purchase and what we would fill it up with.  I read to him out loud the recipes and it was such a pleasurable experience.  Lots of "mmmm's" and deep gasps.  We dreamed about making a huge feast for our friends when we live out in the country.  Hanging lights and lanterns and fabrics with music...and mouth watering food cooking in colorful tagines.

Later that evening was the first time we cooked together in a long while.  I broke open a bottle of Sangria...the only alcohol we had in the house since we don't drink much anymore.  At one point he hugged me from behind, kissed me on the neck and told me he wanted to experience more of this passion with food, together.  I do too. 

I am so in love with the combination of spices in Moroccan dishes:  turmeric, cinnamon, cayenne, cumin seeds...mmmmm.

Tonight I made a tagine with carrots and garbanzo beans, onions, garlic, (the spices above) and plain soy yogurt...sprinkled with cilantro, fresh lemon juice and rose water.  I served it with buttered bread to relieve our tongues from the gloriously intense spice!

tagine2

{my gluten free substitute for couscous is quinoa. my favorite breads are Glutino Flax Seed bread and Chebe bread mix}

drinking flowers*

inspired action.
me at a cafe a few days ago

Listening to Safri Duo ~ Samb Adagio while writing this. Go check it out. You can't help but groove.  Soooo awesome.  Whenever I see drumming like this, I think of my husband.  Someday we'll have a basement where he can play LOUD and to his heart's content.  Or do something like the video I linked.  Out in a wide open field.  ; )

I wanted to share with you guys something amazing that is shifting my well being in a beautiful way these days. I was mentioning to a friend that I was using Rescue Remedy for stress and she suggested I also try Lotus Wei flower elixirs.

Oh. my.

I am hooked.

So far, near me at all times is Inspired Action (which I use when I am about to work on some projects), Pure Energy, when I am feeling lazy and lethargic and Quiet Mind when I want to peace-out or am having trouble sleeping.  I really notice a difference and it feels so good in and on my body.  Who doesn't love flowers and who wouldn't want to DRINK them in?  Mmmmm...nature is truly our best medicine. 

Katie, the Founder and Formulator is such a radiant being and she sends the sweetest notes along with her elixir-gems.  I am saving up to try every single one.  If you decide to try them out, do let me know what you think.

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i love mud.

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post spa
{this is me, at the end of the day, lounging outside at the hot springs.  taken with my phone for my family and friends that were inquiring how i was feeling.  i think this photo says it all.  especially because i still have mud in my dreads!}

On my birthday, I woke up to a spa packet on the table with a note that said something a long the lines of..."You have given so much to me and Cedar and have lost countless hours of sleep without much alone time.  We want you to be pampered."

He sent me away yesterday to Glen Ivy Hot Springs for a day full of treatments (massage, detox wrap, facial, pedicure and an underground body mask & shower). I then went to a hotel and spent the night in a huge bed, sleeping longer than I have in two years, without interruption.

Holy tears.  Boho Boy often tells me that he sees and recognizes all the little things I do as a stay at home mother and wife but there was something so beautiful about him planning this for me.  It was a testimony to "actions speak louder than words", you know?  I really FELT that he got what I was needing and honored me and created this space for me to renew myself...even if it meant that the weekend would be extra hard on him having to manage both work and Cedar, with no help.  It was selfless and I do not take that for granted.

So, I love mud now.  ; )  There was this area called Club Mud where you walk into a muddy pool and in the middle is a pillar with a huge clump of mud and you smooth it all over your body, step outside, lay out in the sun until it dries and you exfoliate your body with a towel and then stand underneath a tiny cave with a shower in it. I have never done this before.  My body loved it.

These particular hot springs were not exactly what my husband imagined for me.  It was actually a bit club med-like...with cement and pools everywhere and people drinking and partying and making out.  It was definitely a social place to gather and I think I was the only one alone.  But there was a moment when I was in the Grotto, which is an underground cave-like place where when you first walk in, someone brushes your body (with your bathing suit on) with a lotion type mask and then you walk into this other dark room where you rub the lotion into your body for 20 minutes.  I was surrounded by couples rubbing lotion all over one another getting so totally heated if you know what I mean and there I was sitting by myself.  It was then that I had an epiphany.  Hey...this moment is all about self love for me. This whole days is. So I closed my eyes and gave my body love...especially those parts that I can often feel disconnected from and I sent those bits energy of acceptance and forgiveness and pure unconditional lovey love.

This ritual was all this weekend needed to be about.  A time to reconnect with my spirit, my body...to breathe and listen...to be gentle and quiet and empty the mind.  I am so grateful for this gift my husband gave to me.

Today I am home and I feel so renewed.  It is wonderful to be back with my boys.  I walked in the door to a husband that greeted me with a big romantic kiss and a long hug.  He sunk into me and I could tell he missed me as much as I missed him.  I spooned Cedar in our bed until he fell asleep for his nap.  My nose was nuzzled into his curls all dried and crispy from daddy's breakfast that morning.  He smelled like dirt and eggs and I loved it.  My senses feel heightened.  I feel rested.  I have more energy.  I even feel a bit more sexy.

I think if we were to go to another hot springs, it would be more the hippy kind.  You know...where the pools actually are in the ground and you can be naked or not and it is a quiet space where people aren't talking.  Do any of you know of a place like this?  I'd like to send my husband there and perhaps go there together one day.  We do know of Esalen...but are there others?

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no more lemonade!

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shades.
cedar in my shades last night, celebrating with us, taken with phone

Yesterday was our last day on the cleanse. We decided to end early because we have friends visiting tomorrow and since they travel all over the country in an RV for months we wanted to provide them a home cooked meal. I just couldn't see myself cooking a veggie curry while sipping lemonade. Call it no will power. Or call it a deep need to connect with my friends when they are here while passionately enjoying a healthy meal together. Not only would it have been awkward for them to eat in front of us but it would have been pure torture! Not into torture, thanks. ; )

So today its all about orange juice to help prepare our bodies for solid food. Mmmmm! I am going to be gentle with the curry. I won't put any sauce on it. So, for me it will be brown rice, tofu, tempeh, veggies, pineapple, raisins, etc. Oh the joy.

Yesterday (Day 8) was so tough for me. I woke up feeling grumped out. I am sure much of it was psychological. I struggled with ending the cleanse a few days earlier than planned. I worried that we were halting the detox process too early. I felt disappointed that I had only lost a few pounds and I only felt this way because Boho Boy had lost twice as much. Boys! I also just felt so very done with lemonade and anything liquid, really. All of this was because it was the last day. Its the same feeling right before vacation when you just can't seem to focus on anything but not being at work. Or the last day of school and you just can't bring yourself to do your studies.

I had to really regroup and get centered. I had to come to a place of forgiveness about ending early and an appreciation of my priorities about gatherings with friends. I had to embrace all the goodness that came out of 8 days of cleansing. The fact that I am craving pure and wholesome food. That processed food and meat make me want to gag. That I feel I have reset my desire to take care of my body, mind and soul. I am also grateful for all of the emotions that surfaced. Stuff I have been burying deep and that sans the brain fog, I could work through them with more clarity. I love that Boho Boy and I have remembered how sacred quiet time together is, sharing more and not needing to numb out on a film. We were extremely connected during this process.

Yesterday, to somewhat make up for not going the full 10 days, I did a colonic. My very first one. Lets just say I didn't enjoy it that much. I am extremely modest with that sort of thing, so I think I wasn't relaxed enough (not to mention the funky head space I was in). The technician was so very patient with my nerves and helped me with massage and a calm voice. I am glad I went through with it and I can say that today I feel lighter and fully cleansed and pure as a result. They discussed with us that they have a 21 day cleansing program that involved eating and supplements. I think next time we do a cleanse, we will try this.

We have bookmarked and cut out a plethora of raw food recipes. The gourmet kind. So, now we need to dust off our food dehydrator and have some fun. I am allowing myself to actually look at recipes today. Oh man...I can't wait.

I apologize for not doing a vlog everyday as I said I would try. What is happening in Haiti just sort of shifted that desire for me. It felt a bit self absorbed or presumptuous that anyone would be interested when I would hope their energies would be with those in Haiti and not with me. I know my readers are gentle beings with huge hearts and I knew your focus would be with Haitians and the inner shifts going on inside of you as a result.

Being on a cleanse while this happened in Haiti absolutely made me more present to what was transpiring there. It brought to surface my missionary heart. This is something I need to look at. Much of my meditation was spent in prayer for them. I wonder if I wasn't on the cleanse, if my intentions would have reached that level of empathy. I would hope so but I am not certain.

Thank you so, so much for your coaching and support through this process. It has meant the world to me and has made a huge difference in how far I went. I feel grateful that I did an 8 full day cleanse feeling circled and wrapped in love.

No more lemonade!

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green smoothie.

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the result...


cedar, taken with cell phone

Today I learned that Cedar really loves smoothies. Especially when they're green. Got this recipe from Auntie Schmoops (banana, mango, spinach, rice milk).

Been quiet in this space. Just trying to rest up and simplify my thoughts. So, I share with you my silence and meditation. Sometimes words feel like too much and deep breathing and quietness sooths the soul.