oh my goodness. We have all been crashed out sick over here. All with the same things, same symptoms. Sinus Infection, Acute Bronchitis, etc. Going round and round and our home conditions not helping. But mama finally got it BAD after taking care of my boys. I even had to postpone a visit from one of my sisters because we are so concerned this viral thing is too catchy and that is the last thing she needs. So now I am laid up for a few days and my honey love is home with me being a sexy boy nurse and my sweet son is being VERY patient with me not being able to play too much with him. But I did get out the paints yesterday...so we could both get some fresh air and do something gentle. I am so warmed in the heart to see Cedar getting braver and braver with his tactile sensitivities. He loves painting but has had some episodes where he melted down when paint touched him. So we tried other things but he kept going for the brush. I always follow his lead with his interests. I have watched him work through it on his own and yesterday, he actually found some humor in it...and it was awesome to see.
We are here for one more month and then we're headed to WASHINGTON...omg. So so so excited. In the meantime, we have stocked up with an herbal pharmacy of immunity building goodness. As of right now, I had to give into the Western approach and take the antibiotics (Cedar too) but once we lick this thing and move to fresh Washington air, we will put our intentions into maintaining wellness within our bodies, minds and souls. We are so craving a change. Our gypsy hearts are aching for a new beginning. I've already connected with three lovely souls that live there and I am not even there yet. This place is full of kindred spirits and an energy that pulls you in. I have sweet visions of Boho Boy kayaking as the sun comes up and me jogging on the pier and Cedar running in a forest with his gnome spirit on high.
But for now, we are just focusing on purging our home, simplifying what we're bringing with us and just simply getting better. As stressful as packing up a home and moving can be, I have been trying to stay present in the moment and live, breathe, think, DO simpler things. Really focusing on my family and getting through each day.
April is our month to simplify. Mmmmm.
Just for fun...what kind of home do you see us in? We are taking our time with finding it. We will be staying in a month to month place temporarily to give ourselves time to really get to know which neighborhood our family belongs in.
Tomorrow is my father's birthday. We may be posting a silly video of sorts. ; )
Slowly, over this past month, Cedar started to not seem like himself. More quiet, sleeping longer, appetite decreasing. He was chewing on his fingers, so we figured it was his two year molars again. Which it was, but there seemed to be more. He began coughing a bit but since he didn't have a fever, I thought perhaps it was from the drainage of the massive amounts of saliva from his teething. Boho Boy and I always approach our bodies holistically when it comes to wellness. We have always treated Cedar in this way and he seems to have thrived with a strong immune system thus far. With the help of our intuition and wisdom from our herb mama friends and family, we thought it would be soon that we would see an improvement. But it slowly got worse and finally, after two nights of holding him up on my chest all night so he could sleep without coughing and him laying down at the park (photo you see above), I knew I needed to take him to a doctor. I hesitated before because I was not comfortable with the doctor we have for him, who is with our insurance. We felt he wasn't very present and seemed to have his thoughts on getting to the long line of patients ahead of us. He also always thought Cedar was a girl when he first walked in the door. I tend to give doctors the benefit of the doubt, especially with insurance in our country these days but it didn't mean I felt safe with him. I consulted a circle of very wise medicine women and it was almost as if their permission that it was time to go to the doctor helped me get over my own fears and stubbornness about it. I felt so protected because as soon as I called the doctor's office, they got him in with a cancellation that day and we were fortunate to see another doctor. A beautiful French woman (oooh, la la), who made it clear the minute she sat down with us that she is very conservative with medication for toddlers. I knew she was right for our family. We so believe in helping to guide our own bodies with learning how to heal itself rather than relying on medicines that only fix the surface and not the root. But we also believe, for us, that there is a time to be more aggressive about it and seek the quick-fixing Western approach. Especially when it comes to Cedar getting enough oxygen.
custom made Lotus Wei elixirs
yummy care package from Katie (and some of the things i had already purchased)
I told a friend the next day that I was awed by his 30 minutes or more of complete calm and sage wisdom with what was transpiring around him. He seemed like an old soul...like he just got it. He knew he was being drenched with essence that his body craved. Essence from earth and he is an earth child. Observing the sweet kindred connection between them melted my mama heart.
Later in the day I was to meet up with two visiting friends for my first girly date in long over a year. I wasn't sure when I woke up that morning if I was quite up for it...even though I ached to see them and have some much needed time away from home. I was THAT weary and self conscious about feeling raw. But, but...after a few hours of being in the presence of Katie and Lisa and my body soaking in the healing and my mind releasing the muck and opening up space for peace, I was so open and ready to love and be loved by my girlfriends. So that is PROOF, my friends. It works. My mood was enhanced ten fold and my friends who hung out with me that night can attest to it. I felt closer to the essence of me than I had in a very long time. They told me I smelled like a blossom. I sent them home for their drive back to LA with a chocolate they were drawn to. It was all just so magical and I have Katie and Lisa to thank for blessing me on a day that it was deeply needed.
cedar groovin'
me, self portrait
photo of julie by 
Cedar has dealt with a bit of tactile sensitivity since he was born. First I noticed it with fabrics on his skin needing to be very soft (hence the bamboo and uber soft cottons we buy for him). Then I noticed it with food. He has not been a fan of sticky fingers or anything on his fingers for that matter. While he is eating, I typically have a cloth nearby to wipe his hands to prevent anxiety. The times we've played in the sand, if it gets on his hands he tries to wipe it off immediately, although he is fine using buckets and shovels. When I introduced finger-painting it was all too much and he had a bit of a meltdown, waving his hands about to get the paint off. That first try must have been a bit traumatizing for him as he didn't even want to try the brush during future attempts. I always follow his lead for when he is ready for anything. I do not push things on him. So, we've stayed away from painting for a while. Although in my mama heart, I knew he wanted to do it because of the excitement he had shown before we started each project only to end with a meltdown because of how it felt on his skin. So I held onto that vision for him gently.
It was fun to observe him. He still wanted nothing to do with the paint on his fingers. He was glad to use the brushes...and he was so serious about his art. I was expecting him to throw the paint about and smoosh it on the ground and not be able to stand and paint for too long. But he stood for over an hour and we did three different paintings and he kept asking us to join in "mama do eet!"..."daddy do!", while handing us a brush. Most of the time he stood there quietly by himself with the birds singing in the distance. It reminded me of the zone he can get in when he is picking at the guitar. So mindful of what he is doing and able to shut out the world for a while.
and a wee video... ; )
{him sober, me not...taken with iPhone4}
We also found him digging in my make-up bag yesterday and applying blush to his cheeks. And when we go to the toy store, the child size car he wants to sit on is the Barbie jeep. Awesome. ; ) He is madly in love with trains, planes and automobiles and loves to wrestle. I love and celebrate his balance of feminine and masculine energies. There are no boxes we will put him in as far as gender goes!
cedar, two years & 3 months...{taken with Cross Processed iPhone app with an Instagram filter Hefe}
photo of elise by 
Cedar wanted me to tell you all to please kiss a tree this weekend!
I think so many of us, me included, feel the need to fill up space with words in a conversation. That when a loved one is navigating their way through something hard or uncomfortable, we feel a pressure to say the right thing or to fix it with advice or wisdom. Most of the time, we all just need to be heard. Sometimes just simply feeling validated for our emotions is all we need. A lot of the time, hearing stories from another person going through the same thing is what heals the most. It helps us to not feel alone. It gives us strength to carry on...in our own way...in our own time.
I have fed my family and friends this wrap every time I am with them. I think during visits, they secretly wait for it. ; ) I am passionate about nourishing the people I love in this way.
I don't feel very inspiring when it comes to this particular Valentines Day. I was away from home all week in a hotel with a microwave. So, I didn't bake any Valentine cookies or do any heart crafts like many of my loves did. In fact, this morning while waking up, wiping my eyes and shuffling my feet out to the kitchen, I kissed my Boho Hubby goodbye with a fuzzy dreaded head and we both forgot to wish one another a Happy Valentines Day. Uninspiring indeed.
I was supposed to be in Arizona this week hanging with my dear
My husband lifted up his shirt to show Cedar his man-nipples and Cedar cracked up.
I think I am going to do some vlogs for you this week. The writing is just not flowing from me these days. But I feel like chatting, so perhaps if I imagine that I am sitting in a room with all of you, sharing would come easier through that live medium. I have gotten to the point with my vlogs that I completely forget I am chatting to a screen and I can almost feel the skin of our knees touching.
I was talking to my marmie last night and she had me giggling hard. It was SO good to hear such pep in her voice. She sounded so alive. Its been a long time since I heard her excited about even the small things...a new kitchen faucet, a new vacuum and a new DRINK that has her preaching on corners. Usually I am the one that calls her with some fabulous new way of eating or herb or concoction of sorts that is supposed to transform your well being, so it was fun to be on the receiving end at a time when I needed to hear it.
Just want you lovelies to know that