flying butterflies and bubbles*

We are nearing towards the end. Almost our whole life in boxes. Everyone's emotions ebbing and flowing. Moving your bodies and things into a brand new home in a brand new State takes purging to a whole new level. Not just the physical purging but the emotional kind. I've been finding old letters and photos and reading through old journal entries. I have found folders filled with paperwork from doctors and acupuncturists regarding our fertility journey. Folders filled with every single piece of the adoption pie. Memories...memories that these four walls held sometimes gently, other times fiercely. I am grateful for all of it. I am also weary of it and ready to move forward from what has begun to feel like being a bit stuck. We're all sensing the forward movement. We're feeling the peeling, the opening, the readying for something we've been craving for ages. Inspiration is beginning to weave back into our thoughts. Yesterday I was sitting on the kitchen floor, cleaning out what was underneath our kitchen sink. Listening to Mindy Gledhill's album Anchor and swaying back and forth. Singing. Laughing. Feeling so much Joy. Today I sat in that same spot after my husband and son left for an hour. As soon as they walked out the door, I wept in my hands. Feeling really raw today and weary and trying not to question it all. Probably overwhelm. Probably not getting enough sleep. Probably stress and worry. Or perhaps just RELEASE. I find it interesting how much I am vacillating.

Been thinking a lot about my family. That love is so solid and constant, no matter what absolute crazy is going on...I think of my mother and father...my two sisters...my nieces and nephews...my mother in law and Boho Bro and I just want to send them love right now. I wish I could float to each of them in a tiny bubble and offer them the peace and joy that bubbles bring to Cedar. In times of big transition, you hold onto what feels constant and true.

I may be offline for a few weeks. I may not. I will try to post little photos and stories but I know my life is about to be such a whirl wind of NEW. Cedar's been able to work through all the chaos in a way that has surprised each of us. He is bending and flowing and then melting like we've never seen him melt before. Packing has been slower because of this. We pack a box and then we sit with him and stay present. We pack a box, then we play with him. We pack a box and we hold him. I have learned that he is more peaceful with order. Its so interesting to see their personalities evolving. The other day he picked up a crumpled up paper and walked into the kitchen and placed it in the waste basket. He did it again with a piece of fruit he was done with. Again and again. I see him put away his toys when he wants to play with another. This is all new and fascinating. So we are trying our best to maintain order in the chaos so that he can feel some normalcy through it all.  Although I know I cannot carry everything and that chaos will happen and he will melt again and that is when I take deep breaths and sit on the floor and laugh or sway or cry or do both at once.  Transition is big.  Emotions through transition are big.  Time to leave our safe cocoon and stretch our wings and fly like three beautiful butterflies.  We might start out wobbly...but oh how the flight will feel GOOD.

Bubbles...ahhh...bubbles. How I would love to take a ride in a bubble tonight.

medicine bundles & winners announced*

our medicine bundles, taken with iPhone & applied Instagram app filter

My wee family is feeling the healing balm of Pixie's medicine bundles she left for each of us during a visit last weekend.  Pixie had asked me and Boho Boy to look at her shop and read through the medicine bundles to see which one we felt pulled to.  I chose the Bear medicine bundle and he chose the Horse.  I have had a few encounters with bears that felt surprisingly gentle and right now, in the midst of chaos, I am craving gentleness around me.  The first encounter I had with a bear was while leading a night hike in the woods of Sonora with a group of 4th and 5th graders.  We could see (and hear) a silhouette of a cub following us a few trees away and the mother protectively walking near.  The other leaders were trying to hide their fear but I remember feeling a peace about that closeness.  Almost as if the mama bear and I were communicating.  Another time was when I was staying overnight in Yosemite and my friends and I were sitting around a campfire.  A brown bear walked right through our campsite and brushed up against me and only me.  Again, I didn't feel afraid.  I felt wildly comforted by its touch.

Pixie wasn't surprised I felt drawn to the Bear medicine bundle...saying that I remind her of a nurturing mama bear, among other things.  But when Boho Boy chose the Horse bundle, I was so curious what it was that drew him to it.  He later shared with me that it was the spirit of his father that helped him decide to quit his day job and move to Washington.  His father was always so clear and adamant about his boys following their dreams and not settling for a life of material things but rather living from the heart, even if that means humble surroundings.  I think he did a lot of consulting with his father over this decision and whenever he gets afraid, he remembers what his father would say.  Since his father has passed away, we've had the birth of our son, as well as this move to a place his father would SO approve of.  I know at times like this, the grief can feel stronger than others.  But since the Horse bundle has been near Boho Boy, I have seen parts of his creative soul surface that have been put aside for a long while.  He has been inspired about getting back to woodworking and practicing much of what his father taught him.

So we are now giddily sharing ideas about furniture we'd like to make or re-finish.  Dreams of trips to yard and estate sales or flea markets and filling our home with pieces transformed by our own hands.  I have absolutely no doubt that Pixie's bundles and the love, intention and thoughtfulness she put into them have so much to do with this shifting in our hearts.  I make sure to place them in a room where we are while packing and Boho Boy plans to bring his Horse bundle with him on the road trip to Washington the first week of May.  He will be driving the moving truck for about 4 days while Cedar and I fly out to be with the family for a few days.  Then Cedar and I fly from Northern California into Seattle to meet Boho Boy and we will drive to our new home together for the first time.Cedar has a medicine bundle too...custom made...to help him through this transition.  I so encourage you to look through her shop and see if your heart pulls you towards her gift, her medicine of the earth and animal.

Now, onto last week's Sponsor GIVEaway.

To me, everyone is a winner for sharing such beautiful sentiments.  But you know how it goes.  So, here are the winners of the amazing gifts from the Guides of Serendipity Retreats. You will be contacted via email by the artist. Congrats!

Winner of Pixie Campbell’s “Call of the Wild” signed 8.5 x 11 fine art print: Martha who wrote;   “Serendipity is reading these beautiful words at just the right time – today – right now- my life is uncertain, a lot of comments that have been made are already in my heart. I am in transition and am so unsure but open and am listening to those whispers of those angels who have presented themselves to me – just as I was told that they would..my path is not clear and I am trying to live like the wolf , in the present, acutely aware, always alert to what may be presented to me – serendipity is my hope – and all these words and these posts bring it home to me and rest in my heart to show me that I am not alone on my path ….the wolf is an image that I need to remember in order to stay alive and be wild and free …”

Winner of  a signed copy of Kate Inglis’s book The Dread Crew: Renee who wrote:;  “Balance…..I can never seem to get it on purpose, or keep it…..so it is rather serendipitous to me at this point in my life…..I am torn between the rocks and The Wild….but I choose The Wild as I need to leave fear behind and move forward into my future!!! xoxo”

Winner of McCabe Russell's *Love*Listen*Trust* painted rocks: Lianne Bremer who wrote:  “Oh, how I long to be able to go to this retreat! I mean, you are my women! The wild women who are impassioned and real! I long to celebrate my innate power and beauty with all of you! Serendipity to me is when heaven and earth conspire to delight… and it happens often.  To dance with the Mermaid, pick nettles with the Pixie, and loving create wonder with all of you.. that is what I am drawn to.”

Winner of Michelle Madden Smith’s Self Care/Mommy night in Kit: Pamela G who wrote: “i was just sitting on my bed crying. crying because i’m stressed, overwhelmed, and frustrated. crying because everything seems to be going wrong. it’s been a series of unfortunate events. and no matter how many times i’ve reached out, i find nothing to grasp. . and it hurts so much inside to keep falling. i’ve barely picked myself up and made my way over to the window up here on the third floor, overlooking the street with the castle in view (a church down the road) and the tower from the fire station when i felt a light go on over my shoulder. it was my screensaver on my laptop. it turned itself off and the screen was open on my email page. realizing i had several to respond to, i just sat there, numb and overwhelmed. thought to myself, i need to read some calming words, where is the best place i can find that. so i came here, denise… and saw your most recent post. now i think that is serendipity.  i could not only use the self care kit, but a hug. someone to hold ME and tell me everything is going to be ok…”

The Tao of Packing*

pixie, cedar, me...photo by stacy

It seems I have to go back to purge piles or boxes three or four times until I am left with what I truly need or nourishes me.  Each time I come back to these piles, I find that I am in a deeper mindset of simplicity, so it is easier to lighten the load and let go of the stuff I was holding onto.  I feel like this is a metaphor for my life lately...not just with moving but with all things.  The Tao of Packing. ; )

Sponsor GIVEaway*

One of my newest sponsors that I am so thrilled to share with you is Serendipity Retreats. A comfy space for art and yoga by the sea in a beautifully intimate setting. I remember a few years back, driving down a windy road while at Squam and hearing whispers about this dreamy retreat to be and I felt a sense of calm in my bones.  It was a healing oasis for those that took part of the first retreat and it continues again this October. There are four guides at this retreat, sharing their wisdom, soul and heart. And today, here in my space, they wanted to share something with my readers. Below you will find a piece of their beautiful world that they are offering. There will be four people chosen, one for each gift.

To enter for one of these beauties, you just need to comment on this post. Tell us what serendipity means to you in your life. It can be one word or many or a story but be sure to mention which gift you feel called to.

I will announce the four winners at the beginning of next week.  Comments will be closed on Sunday evening.

Call of the Wild - signed 8.5x11 fine art print from Pixie Campbell. "Wolf answers when called. No questions asked. Leaves fear behind. Lifts strong paws and pads lightly across the earth, nose to the ground, fur up on neck, ears up, and bright eyes leading the way." A signed copy of "The Dread Crew" from Kate Inglis January Magazine calls The Dread Crew: Pirates of the Backwoods by Kate Inglis 'a spirited tale, gorgeously rendered'. It suits hooligans and adventure-seekers 8-80 years old. By October's Serendipity Retreat, the sequel will be undergoing final line edits.

"What a mess. See, wherever they go, the pirates chew up the forest, all mindless crashing with that giant woodship. All they care about is junk and they'll crush anything that gets in the way. I was just as blind to it as you until one day I tripped over a clue. And then another. What else was there to do? I became a pirate hunter. I tracked them like a thunderstorm. I collected evidence and found their trail. Then they disappeared. Then I met the weirdest girl in the world. Turns out she was their scout. Then together we stole their ship. By the time you get to the end you see it’s really just the beginning..." Love*Listen*Trust rocks from Mccabe Russell Hand painted beach stones from the magical shore of Southern California. Each rock infused with magic and love. use them to create whimsy in your everyday life. (but be careful what you wish for.) Self care/Mommy's night in kit from Michelle Madden Smith a yoga mat, a lavender-filled eye pillow, aromatherapy, a bottle of wine, and a few other yummy surprises...

boho woodland*

our new lil' woodland

I wanted to share with you a bit of the magic that is happening to our wee little family on this transitional journey. Here is part of the woodland that surrounds the new home we will be living in. Ohmygosh. I had to ask my friend and our local real estate agent to go see it, just to make sure this was for real.  The ad for this dreamy faerie home continued to come into our path, yet because it was such an awesome deal, we thought for sure something was wrong with it. Although my heart kept going back to it and we kept saying it feels too good to be true. What happened to our belief in magic? I suppose a few disappointments with hunting for a home will drain hope out of you but then I get a giddy call from my girlfriend as she pulls up, sneaks on the land and peeks into the empty home. "It's charming, its adorable, oh my god, it leads to a forest and a beach and oh my god, its an old bungalow! It has a cherry blossom tree in the front! Oh Denise, its perfect for you guys!  You can garden here!  The soil is awesome!  Oh Denise...its so CUTE.  Its magical." And my heart is racing on the other line, and I feel like I am jumping up and down with her and I am one part afraid to get my hopes up but the other part of me, the part that has driven me my whole life BELIEVES in this sort of thing.

So after many phone calls and email exchanges with our AWESOME real estate agent and the property management company, a walk through to make sure all is alright and photos sent to us and paperwork and la la la...we get the phone call.  And so my friends, we're moving in the first week of May!

Its a sweet old home built in the early 1900's with a playhouse for Cedar in the back, a garage with a darling attic that we could transform into a bohemian lair and two outbuildings for storage (or studios or workshops) with close access to a beach, as well as a trail that leads to forest and finally, off the road from a gorgeous drive a few minutes away from a part of town that we hold close to our hearts.  Everything and more that I wrote down in a list long ago as our dream home. Its happening.  Its really happening.  We feel so blessed to be able to provide Cedar with a home that his heart calls to.  A woodland for our sweet gnome to explore and a space for his imagination to thrive and earth that mama and daddy can sink their toes and fingers into.

I am envisioning bodies that feel more sprite and healed with an energy that wants to soak it all in.  I imagine misty walks with Cedar in the morning and me sitting on the shore and photographing Boho Boy and Cedar in a teeny boat in the water near the bridge to watch the trains.  I am tearing up as I write this.  This is something we were unable to create for our family in California and it broke my heart to have to move further from my family but at the same time, I know they want this for us too and it will open up a whole new world that we can all share together.  And its all a ferry boat away from British Columbia!  I cannot wait to take them there.

I see Boho Boy fishing with my daddy and bringing salmon home for dinner.  I see my sisters Darlene and Pamela and I telling stories, sitting on chairs in our yard knitting or creating with me in my studio.  I see my marmie and I digging our fingers into soil and laughing.  I see Omi cooking in our new kitchen to the classical music she adores.  I see Jon-Erik coming back with a medicine bag full of magic after a day of collecting in the woods and sea.  I see my nieces and nephews visiting for solace and calm to find themselves again in nature in the midst of their busy lives.  I see visits from dear friends and healing in their hearts.  I see Boho Boy's father up in the cosmos smiling down at his son for following his wisdom on how to live from your heart.

I see a kitchen full of jars and bottles with tinctures, potions, lotions and oils made from our land, to keep our bodies well and to help heal the bodies of those we love.  I see baskets and bowls full of fresh vegetables and fruits from our garden.

I see a husband with color back in his cheeks, finishing his book and spending hours meditating on nature in his kayak.

Most of all...I see Cedar with his bouncy curls and bare muddy chest running, leaping, dancing, singing, strumming, drumming and painting a fae-world that sees him true in a home that allows every morsel of  his BEING to BE.

A girl can dream for her family.  Yes, she can.  I should bottle my tears right now and keep them for more dream making.

toddlers + moving = crazytown.

our flower child

first time out in so long. took a drive with windows down and the wailin' jennys blaring

pretty knobs at cost plus world market. want to cover our new kitchen with these

i love him so much. he looks yummy in his gypsy wrap.

cedar eating our flu soup. recipe below.

best. swing. view. ever.

resting on a bench together

Just wanted to share some images of the last few days.

Man, moving is more stressful than I remember. There was a time when I was in my twenties that I moved every few years. But back then I was more a gypsy about it and didn't keep a lot of THINGS and didn't allow myself to get attached to the walls around me. I was joking with a friend the other day who is going through the same thing and she said sorting and packing should be illegal with a toddler. ; ) Oh my gosh. It makes a huge difference when the little one decides it is SO FUN to pull apart the pile you are working on or get into the box and pretend its a car. It is a Zen exercise in staying present and slowing down and remembering that this wee one has absolutely no concept of what we're about to really do. To him right now, our home being out of sorts is like a maze of creative play. Crazytown.

We are all feeling stronger and better. I am on the last leg of this flu and tend to go in and out of good or hard days. I know its because I am not able to rest fully. Gone are the days I can lay in bed all day when I am feeling poorly. ; ) I wanted to share our Flu Soup with you. We got it out of Real Simple magazine and added a few different touches. It heals the bod and tastes delicious! Boho Boy is a stud at making soups when I am not feeling well.

We are in the process of maybe having found our Faerie Home. We will know in the next three days. If it happens to be the one, I will let you know. House hunting is yet ANOTHER Zen exercise in not allowing yourself to get attached and to trust that if a home we fall in love with falls through, it means it was not meant for us. Moving is SUPER hard on the ego because it forces you to leg go of it completely and just surrender.

Flu Soup {we do it the quick and easy way}

1 can white kidney beans* 2 tbsp olive oil 2 cups diced onion 4 cloves garlic sliced thinly 8 oz shiitake mushrooms sliced 8 oz portobello mushrooms sliced 2 lbs butternut squash cut into 1 inch cubes 1 bay leaf 8 cups broth (we prefer turkey broth with these flavors...at Trader Joes) 1/2 bunch of kale, stems removed and leaves sliced thinly Sea Salt

Directions: Heat Oil in a large pan over a medium flame Add onions and garlic. Cook until tender (6 minutes) Transfer them to a bowl and set aside. Add some more oil and then saute the mushrooms until they are golden brow. stir them often. Put onions/garlic in a soup pot and add the mushrooms. Add the squash, bay leaf and broth. Season with pepper. Bring to a boil, then cover and let simmer for about 45 minutes, or until squash is tender. Stir in the kale about 15 minutes before soup is done. *If you want to use dried beans, go ahead...just simmer the soup for a solid hour.

Here is a cute little video we took the other day. I love the way he sings...

And this one just makes me laugh...

a new beginning*

oh my goodness.  We have all been crashed out sick over here.  All with the same things, same symptoms.  Sinus Infection, Acute Bronchitis, etc.  Going round and round and our home conditions not helping.  But mama finally got it BAD after taking care of my boys.  I even had to postpone a visit from one of my sisters because we are so concerned this viral thing is too catchy and that is the last thing she needs. So now I am laid up for a few days and my honey love is home with me being a sexy boy nurse and my sweet son is being VERY patient with me not being able to play too much with him.  But I did get out the paints yesterday...so we could both get some fresh air and do something gentle.  I am so warmed in the heart to see Cedar getting braver and braver with his tactile sensitivities.  He loves painting but has had some episodes where he melted down when paint touched him.  So we tried other things but he kept going for the brush.  I always follow his lead with his interests.  I have watched him work through it on his own and yesterday, he actually found some humor in it...and it was awesome to see.

We are here for one more month and then we're headed to WASHINGTON...omg.  So so so excited.  In the meantime, we have stocked up with an herbal pharmacy of immunity building goodness.  As of right now, I had to give into the Western approach and take the antibiotics (Cedar too) but once we lick this thing and move to fresh Washington air, we will put our intentions into maintaining wellness within our bodies, minds and souls.  We are so craving a change.  Our gypsy hearts are aching for a new beginning.  I've already connected with three lovely souls that live there and I am not even there yet.  This place is full of kindred spirits and an energy that pulls you in.  I have sweet visions of Boho Boy kayaking as the sun comes up and me jogging on the pier and Cedar running in a forest with his gnome spirit on high.

But for now, we are just focusing on purging our home, simplifying what we're bringing with us and just simply getting better.  As stressful as packing up a home and moving can be, I have been trying to stay present in the moment and live, breathe, think, DO simpler things.  Really focusing on my family and getting through each day.

April is our month to simplify.   Mmmmm.

Just for fun...what kind of home do you see us in?  We are taking our time with finding it.  We will be staying in a month to month place temporarily to give ourselves time to really get to know which neighborhood our family belongs in.

Tomorrow is my father's birthday.  We may be posting a silly video of sorts.  ; )

Bye-Lo Baby*

Slowly, over this past month, Cedar started to not seem like himself. More quiet, sleeping longer, appetite decreasing. He was chewing on his fingers, so we figured it was his two year molars again. Which it was, but there seemed to be more. He began coughing a bit but since he didn't have a fever, I thought perhaps it was from the drainage of the massive amounts of saliva from his teething. Boho Boy and I always approach our bodies holistically when it comes to wellness. We have always treated Cedar in this way and he seems to have thrived with a strong immune system thus far. With the help of our intuition and wisdom from our herb mama friends and family, we thought it would be soon that we would see an improvement. But it slowly got worse and finally, after two nights of holding him up on my chest all night so he could sleep without coughing and him laying down at the park (photo you see above), I knew I needed to take him to a doctor. I hesitated before because I was not comfortable with the doctor we have for him, who is with our insurance. We felt he wasn't very present and seemed to have his thoughts on getting to the long line of patients ahead of us.  He also always thought Cedar was a girl when he first walked in the door. I tend to give doctors the benefit of the doubt, especially with insurance in our country these days but it didn't mean I felt safe with him. I consulted a circle of very wise medicine women and it was almost as if their permission that it was time to go to the doctor helped me get over my own fears and stubbornness about it. I felt so protected because as soon as I called the doctor's office, they got him in with a cancellation that day and we were fortunate to see another doctor. A beautiful French woman (oooh, la la), who made it clear the minute she sat down with us that she is very conservative with medication for toddlers.  I knew she was right for our family.  We so believe in helping to guide our own bodies with learning how to heal itself rather than relying on medicines that only fix the surface and not the root.  But we also believe, for us, that there is a time to be more aggressive about it and seek the quick-fixing Western approach.  Especially when it comes to Cedar getting enough oxygen.

She listened intently to our story about how we've most recently realized the air quality in our home is not at its best and we did a few things that we thought would help...but it seems my husband and I are still suffering from symptoms. Cedar has always had a strong immune system and we were grateful he wasn't affected but now I was curious if his current symptoms had anything to do with our air quality, which would tell us that it is not fixed. Now we're thinking the toxicity is deeper into the walls than we thought possible.

She checked Cedar, gently and all over and by the end of what felt like a long process with an emotionally distraught toddler, Cedar was diagnosed with a sinus infection, an ear infection and bronchitis. She told me that she doesn't see sinus infections in toddlers often. She does see them but just not often and especially in a situation where the entire family has similar symptoms. So, she was the second medical professional to suggest it is the air quality and said it makes perfect sense, as she has treated a few families with the same symptoms as a result from some sort of toxicity in their living environment.

That was it. I phoned my husband in tears and as soon as he heard what Cedar was diagnosed with, he said that's it. We're leaving our home. So, its all happening so fast. We'll be out of here in a month and in the meantime, will be doing all we can to protect and build up our immune systems. Its been so confusing to us how for so long, we have pumped our bodies full of vitamins and elixirs and mists and wholesome foods and yet still feel like we are walking around with the flu. Some days worse than others but it never quite goes away. Part of me wonders if our fertility journey was affected as well. We've been in this home for 9 years now.

With all this bigness going on, Cedar is where my heart and soul is. It is so hard to see him not fully himself. He is our first and only and perhaps our ever...and when he hurts, we hurt deep.  So we are treating him both holistically and with antibiotics (and probiotics) and an inhaler.  Lots of herbal rubs and minty baths and setting him upright in bed.

I have been so blessed to have been circled by dear friends that are sending us love and offering their help during this time. There has been mention of "packing parties" and trips to see us so that we can have relief while we pack and begin the process of a new life. I have been sent packages of herbal love and healing rituals, wholesome recipes for me and our family. I feel overwhelmed and not at all alone in this.

One thing that has been a huge comfort for Cedar is a song I sing to him to help him sleep. I wanted to share it with you. I first heard it from a band called Innocence Mission on their lullaby CD "Now The Day is Over".  The song is called Bye-Lo Baby. You can listen to a bit of the chorus on this page. It is song #11.

What I do is switch the words around to add everyone from my immediate family.  So that he knows he is loved deeply and thought of and protected by all of us. Its pretty guaranteed by the time I reach Cousin Seanzie...he is drifted off into dream land, no matter how poopie he feels. I close my eyes and imagine that family member holding and rocking him in the rocking chair, just like me...and I truly believe he feels them near.

Perhaps there is magic in the song.  The band is from Ireland...the land of Pixies and Faeries, you know.  ; )

I start from oldest to youngest:

• Bye-lo baby.  Bye-lo baby.  Bye-lo baby.  Bye-lo baby bye.
• Mama will love you. Mama will love you. Mama will love you. All of her life.
• Daddy will love you. Daddy will love you. Daddy will love you. All of his life.
• Grandpa Lenny will love you. Grandpa Lenny will love you. Grandpa Lenny will love you. Up in heaven above.
• Vu Vu will love you. Vu Vu will love you. Vu Vu will love you. All of his life.
• Grandmarmie will love you. Grandmarmie will love you. Grandmarmie will love you. All of her life.
• Omi will love you. Omi will love you. Omi will love you. All of her life.
• Auntie DD will love you. Auntie DD will love you. Auntie DD will love you. All of her life.
• Uncle JJ will love you. Uncle JJ will love you. Uncle JJ will love you. All of his life.
• Uncle Jon-Erik will love you. Uncle Jon-Erik will love you. Uncle Jon-Erik will love you. All of his life.
• Auntie Pammie will love you. Auntie Pammie will love you. Auntie Pammie will love you. All of her life.
• Uncle Marky will love you. Uncle Marky will love you. Uncle Marky will love you. All of his life.
• Auntie La La will love you. Auntie La La will love you. Auntie La La will love you. All of her life.
• Cousin Kelly will love you. Cousin Kelly will love you. Cousin Kelly will love you. All of her life.
• Cousin Casey will love you. Cousin Casey will love you. Cousin Casey will love you. All of his life.
• Cousin Seanzie will love you. Cousin Seanzie will love you. Counsin Seanzie will love you. All of his life.
• Bye-lo baby. Bye-lo baby. Bye-lo baby. Bye-lo baby bye.

lotus wei loveliness*

custom made Lotus Wei elixirs

A few months ago, a friend guided me over to the flower essences of  Lotus Wei.  I was so enchanted with the energy throughout their website.  I was in need of the healing power of nature bottled up, for me to drink in.  Mmmm...aren't we all?  After I made an order, I was contacted by one of the owners, Katie Hess.  We connected in a gentle, knowing way and Lotus Wei eventually became a sponsor on my blog.  We knew my readers would be drawn to the healing ways of their products the same way I was.

Since becoming a sponsor, Katie has taken such gentle care of our family.  She knew we were all experiencing illness from the poor air quality in our home (that we are quickly remedying, more on that soon).  She asked me to make a list of all of our ailments.  I wasn't sure what she was going to do with that list, but then I received the most thoughtful care package from her.  I was so teary and moved at the attention and intention she put into our family's well being.  I know there is a unique and spiritual process when the elixirs, oils and mists are created, which involves a gemstone for more healing properties.  I felt so deeply grateful that she had made each of us our own elixir.  She wrapped up the package with beautiful notes for each of us and chocolate to nourish.  It was one of the most amazing gifts I have ever received.

yummy care package from Katie (and some of the things i had already purchased)

Last week,  both Katie Hess and Lisa Reinhardt (CEO of Wei of Chocolate) were in town and were able to stop by our home for a few hours.  The serendipity of their coming was pretty amazing.  It was the morning after a bit of a rough and emotional night...without a wink of sleep.  Normally, I would pull back from anything social because when I am in a space where emotions are completely at the surface,  I tend to need at least a few days of solitude to get centered again.  Something told me not to pull back but to surrender and open my door, regardless if I wasn't in the best head space.  The fact that Katie said she wanted to "shower us with flower power" helped. ; )

The minute I opened my door I felt this calm wash over me.  Katie and Lisa gracefully slipped off their shoes and walked in my home.  I felt like the energy between our exchanges was an Om chant.  Just calm, whispery, gentle...as we sat Indian style or lotus position on the floor and shared a bit about ourselves.  What moved me the most was Cedar's openness to them.  Katie slowly pulled out of her magical bag bottles of elixirs, mists and oils...cards with flowers on them spread out, tiny cups for Cedar to play with...and Lisa handed us healing chocolates that melted on our tongue.  Cedar was drawn to certain flower cards and Katie would mist him with that particular flower essence and he would throw his head back with his eyes closed and fully RECEIVE it.  She rubbed oils on his skin and dropped elixirs on his tongue.

I told a friend the next day that I was awed by his 30 minutes or more of complete calm and sage wisdom with what was transpiring around him.  He seemed like an old soul...like he just got it.  He knew he was being drenched with essence that his body craved.  Essence from earth and he is an earth child.  Observing the sweet kindred connection between them melted my mama heart.

Later in the day I was to meet up with two visiting friends for my first girly date in long over a year. I wasn't sure when I woke up that morning if I was quite up for it...even though I ached to see them and have some much needed time away from home. I was THAT weary and self conscious about feeling raw. But, but...after a few hours of being in the presence of Katie and Lisa and my body soaking in the healing and my mind releasing the muck and opening up space for peace, I was so open and ready to love and be loved by my girlfriends. So that is PROOF, my friends. It works. My mood was enhanced ten fold and my friends who hung out with me that night can attest to it. I felt closer to the essence of me than I had in a very long time. They told me I smelled like a blossom. I sent them home for their drive back to LA with a chocolate they were drawn to. It was all just so magical and I have Katie and Lisa to thank for blessing me on a day that it was deeply needed.

And Cedar? After eating the Wei Relaxed piece of dark chocolate Lisa gave him right before his nap, I was concerned it might keep him up. It IS chocolate, right? I never give him chocolate. But Katie and Lisa reassured me that it is supposed to help him sleep. So, I surrendered and guess what? He had a three hour nap. Note to all mamas...feed your kids THIS chocolate!! ; )

groovin*

cedar groovin'

I know I have been so quiet here this past week. I have a juicy story to share and will do so very very soon. My energies have been focused on our wee boy who has been teething his two year molars, pushing through...all at once. The constant drool is causing a lot of congestion and the nights have been long, needing to hold him up on my chest so he can breathe comfortably. He wakes up happy but mama wakes up weary, so I have been trying to rest during his naps.

Until my next post, I wanted to ask you for some music suggestions. I will be going on a road trip in late April with some lovelies and am going to make a few road trip CD's. Do you have a favorite road trip song(s)?

{Boho Boy and I adore this photo I took of Cedar a few days ago. We love his rhythm and groove}

winners ~ gypsy wraps!

stacy all wrapped up and loving on her daughter mia & stacy's daughter isabella, taken with her iPhone

The three winners of one free Gypsy Wrap for last week's GIVEway are:

• Crystal M
• Karen Maezen Miller
• Mama Gast

Yay! Congrats!! Julie and I will get in touch with you.

And for the rest of you...thank you for entering. Each of you are wrapped up in our gratefulness.

Have a wonderful weekend.  Will post soon about a magical day I had yesterday being drenched in flower essence.

xoxox

Sponsor GIVEaway ~ Gypsy Wraps!

terri fischer

erin darcy

pixie campbell

darlene kreutzer

me, self portrait

In celebration of St. Patrick’s Day, Julie is offering three readers a free Gypsy Wrap. May the luck of the Irish be with you!

She is also offering a buy three get one free (chosen by Julie) to the first 10 readers who mention Boho Girl when they complete their purchase on Etsy.

{Samples of some of her wraps are on a few of my friends in the above photos. You can also see them on my boys in my previous post.  Yes, she has them for men and littles too!}

About Julie, the designer...whom I adore to the max:

photo of julie by deb schwedhelm

When I turned 40, the fog started to lift in every aspect of my life. I started paying attention to the long list of things I’d been intending to get to… eventually. On the top of that list was becoming a certified yoga teacher, taking a decade of personal practice and turning it into something I could share with others. I’ve read that all of the “little things” we do in life eventually add up into something “that makes sense.” I’ve found this to be true: merging the strength of my Marine Corps training; the customer service skills from waitressing; my knowledge of anatomy, physiology, disease process from nursing college; my teaching skills from years as a nurse educator; creating a nurturing classroom from mothering four young children; and my sewing skills to keep the hair out of my face.

The last “little thing” took me by surprise as people started to ask about my batik hair wraps. They wanted one -- or TEN! Yoga studios started to ask if I would sell them on consignment (and would I sell wholesale? and how could their cousin in Tennessee order some? ).

The Yoga Gypsy LLC, which was started as a traveling yoga business, incorporated wrapping people up in Gypsy Wraps. I am grateful that I found a way share two things I enjoy; yoga and sewing.

Take a look at my shop and wrap up!

terri & julie

GIVEaway Rules:

• 3 Winners receive one Gypsy Wrap of choice.
• Winners will be chosen at Random.org
• To enter, leave a comment on this post
• Comment can be one word or many or just a smiley face
• One comment per person, please
• Comments will be closed Thursday, 10pm PST
• Winners will be announced on Friday

exploring with paint*

Cedar has dealt with a bit of tactile sensitivity since he was born. First I noticed it with fabrics on his skin needing to be very soft (hence the bamboo and uber soft cottons we buy for him). Then I noticed it with food. He has not been a fan of sticky fingers or anything on his fingers for that matter. While he is eating, I typically have a cloth nearby to wipe his hands to prevent anxiety. The times we've played in the sand, if it gets on his hands he tries to wipe it off immediately, although he is fine using buckets and shovels. When I introduced finger-painting it was all too much and he had a bit of a meltdown, waving his hands about to get the paint off. That first try must have been a bit traumatizing for him as he didn't even want to try the brush during future attempts. I always follow his lead for when he is ready for anything. I do not push things on him. So, we've stayed away from painting for a while. Although in my mama heart, I knew he wanted to do it because of the excitement he had shown before we started each project only to end with a meltdown because of how it felt on his skin. So I held onto that vision for him gently.

The other day, I gave him some honey on a spoon for a treat. After he licked a bit of it up, I watched him put his finger in the spoon and then immediately go over to the cupboard to paint the honey on the wood. He did it a few times more with a big smile on his face. Now, perhaps most mamas (rationally so) would have been a bit bummed out that their cupboards were suddenly sticky but I gasped in excitement. "Cedar!! You're finger-painting!!". He responded "pay-ing"..."pay-ing!!!". It was then that I knew he was ready to explore again.

I consulted a dear circle of friends of mine that are mamas and conscious about what goes in and on their babies as far as chemicals and toxins. I wasn't sure if Cedar was going to just eat the paint or smear the paint on his bod. I had no idea how he would explore this new texture but I wanted to feel safe for him to do so. I was encouraged by my friends to try berries and flour and water. BRILLIANT!

One of my friends thought an easel might be easier for him as far as keeping paint off of his body. We have been so accustom to doing art on our hardwood floor with paper since we don't have a table in our home. Why hadn't I thought of this? I was so grateful for this fresh set of ideas. So, last night we took a trip to IKEA to get an easel. We set him up this morning out on our veranda. I mixed three bowls of color: frozen raspberries with warm water and soy flour, chocolate pudding and frozen acai berries with warm water and soy flour. Such pretty colors. In fact, the colors of our wedding! ; )

It was fun to observe him. He still wanted nothing to do with the paint on his fingers. He was glad to use the brushes...and he was so serious about his art. I was expecting him to throw the paint about and smoosh it on the ground and not be able to stand and paint for too long. But he stood for over an hour and we did three different paintings and he kept asking us to join in "mama do eet!"..."daddy do!", while handing us a brush.  Most of the time he stood there quietly by himself with the birds singing in the distance.  It reminded me of the zone he can get in when he is picking at the guitar.  So mindful of what he is doing and able to shut out the world for a while.

It was such a precious time for us as a family.

Here are a few more images...

and a wee video... ; )

{head wraps are by julie bartel over at Gypsy Wraps. giveaway for a wrap coming very soon!}

showing up*

Here are two photos from said date with husband:

{him sober, me not...taken with iPhone4}

Bonus Cedar photo. Today he wanted two ponytails on his head. He got them. ; )

We also found him digging in my make-up bag yesterday and applying blush to his cheeks. And when we go to the toy store, the child size car he wants to sit on is the Barbie jeep. Awesome. ; ) He is madly in love with trains, planes and automobiles and loves to wrestle. I love and celebrate his balance of feminine and masculine energies. There are no boxes we will put him in as far as gender goes!

messages*

cedar, two years & 3 months...{taken with Cross Processed iPhone app with an Instagram filter Hefe}

A wonderful woman that reads my blog wrote me an email last week telling me she had a dream about me in labor (hello dear francie!).  In this dream, I was sitting on a chair and she was there, with some other women, supporting me through the contractions as they came and went.  Then she wrote about it in a metaphorical sense.  About believing I was giving birth to something amazing in my life.  My sister Darlene that same week also had a dream about me giving birth while she was with me, although she took it a bit more literal, and when chatting about it on Skype, had a totally wishful/hopeful grin about the idea of us having another baby.  I joked with her that I know SHE wants more babies in our family but honestly, we are so totally okay with just the three of us.  As Cedar came bouncing up to the laptop screen saying hello, we giggled and collectively agreed that Cedar is enough.  ; )

As much as it can still be such a bummer that I may never experience what it is like to carry a child in my womb or bring a child into this world through my own birth, I am not in that space any longer of needing/desiring it.  Although of course when I hear other people share their stories about pregnancy or birth or breastfeeding, I do get that ache down deep in my gut and depending on the headspace I am in, the heartache can linger or it can drift away in a few minutes.  Its natural and its part of grief.  It never fully goes away but it hurts much less as the years go on.  This will be my constant practice, to find my medicine, my lessons in these aches as I am attracted to and tend to attract earthy goddess women that revel in their birth/pregnancy experiences.  These stories will always be part of my circle.  There was a time when I protected myself from women like this and now I seem to be embracing these goddesses and facing it all like a gentle warrior.  At times I will feel misplaced in a circle, until I am reminded that our birth story and its many layers teaches them too and then that sense of belonging returns.

I AM in love with the idea that I am receiving messages that I am about to birth something extraordinary in my life and even more in love with the idea of it having to do with us living somewhere new by Summer.  We are ready for new.  So ready.

...and I am in love with Cedar's new hat.

sponsor GIVEaway*

photo of elise by creative monkey photo

Inspired Balance ~ Everyday Peace Workshop

Elise is offering one free space in her  Everyday  Peace Workshop to one of my readers!

She is also offering anyone who signs up for the workshop starting 3/1 and mentions (via email) Boho Girl - the class for $20 instead of $35 - with a free copy of her ebook Simple Feng Shui for Everyday Peace.

About Elise:

In my past - and we are talking high school here - I was an overachieving, stressed out, flute and viola playing, National Merit Semi-Finalist daughter of a Methodist minister. I got lots of scholarships, attended Southern Methodist University in Dallas and joined a sorority. I tried, but it turns out I wasn’t the Texas sorority kinda’ girl. I dropped out and came home to the Midwest. I continued my schooling and worked in the fields of microbiology and biochemistry before I came the conclusion that I was extraordinarily miserable working in a lab all day.

Luckily, I met my dream boat at a party in the mid-nineties. Not to get too sappy, but it really was love at first sight. Ask anyone that was there. It was so crazy cool! I left my schooling since I was hating it anyway and moved to California with him a year later. After arriving in sunny Palm Springs, I fell into non-profit arts management as a traditional career. We got married a little after that, moved back to midwest, and had our first child. Life was extremely stressful, but we tried to be happy.

I was run over by a truck a few years back. There is just something about those near death experiences that do tend to change your outlook on things. My life certainly changed. I stepped out of the rat race, went to Feng Shui and Soul Coaching school, and found out that life was way more amazing than I was giving it credit for. Who knew?! A year later I was fired from my job while pregnant on April Fools Day, so I decided the universe was trying to tell me something. I listened.

I took a huge leap of faith and became a Certified Soul Coach and a Certified Interior Alignment Practitioner of Instinctive Feng Shui and Sacred Space Clearing. I received my Interior Alignment certification from the amazing Laurie Bornstein and her Harmony Life School of Interior Alignment. I am extremely blessed to be one of the few, select individuals worldwide, personally trained and certified by the inspirational Denise Linn in her specialized methods of coaching. Additionally, I am a Red-Ribbon Professional Member of the International Feng Shui Guild.

I founded Inspired Balance in 2007, started helping people find more peace, and here I am.

Giveaway Rules:

• Winner receives one free space in Elise's Everyday Peace Workshop
• To enter, please leave a comment with a quick tip that helps you find Peace in your everyday life
• One entry per person
• Comments will be closed on Friday, February 25th at 10PM PST
• Winner will be chosen at Random.org
• Winner will be announced this weekend! So check back!

{ Side note:  Doesn't Elise just have such a serene energy about her in this photo?  Like I could just gaze at her beautiful soft face and worries, fears, anxieties just melt away.  Do we all have a wee crush on her now? And her name.  I have ALWAYS loved the name Elise.}

*************************

WINNER: #24...Lana of House of Wilkens!!  Congrats Lana.  Elise will contact you shortly.  xoxo

tree kisses*

Cedar wanted me to tell you all to please kiss a tree this weekend!

{If anyone wants to send me an email with a photo of you kissing a tree attached, I will put them all in a post with a link to your website/blog. How fun will that be? Pls send to denise(at)bohophoto.com}

Sending you peace and tree love for the weekend.  May the luminous full moon shine down on you gently.

Love, Boho Girl

listening*

I think so many of us, me included,  feel the need to fill up space with words in a conversation.  That when a loved one is navigating their way through something hard or uncomfortable, we feel a pressure to say the right thing or to fix it with advice or wisdom.  Most of the time, we all just need to be heard.  Sometimes just simply feeling validated for our emotions is all we need.  A lot of the time, hearing stories from another person going through the same thing is what heals the most.  It helps us to not feel alone.  It gives us strength to carry on...in our own way...in our own time.

I want to practice listening in a way that allows for someone to feel held exactly where they are without them feeling as though they need to move forward right away. I want to practice sitting with it, with them...and breathing into the emotions of now. I want to practice saying "I hear you, I feel you, this is hard or this is wonderful or yes, I understand where you are" more than "This is what I think would help...".

And I want to invite more of that into my life, my circle, too.

I am holding space for all of this today.

boho love wrap*

I have fed my family and friends this wrap every time I am with them.  I think during visits, they secretly wait for it.  ; )  I am passionate about nourishing the people I love in this way.

Beware...it causes a food orgasm.

Boho Love Wrap:

• brown rice tortilla (warmed up in pan with olive oil to make bendable)
• goat cheese
• sliced persian cucumber
• sliced avocado
• shredded carrots
• handful of herb salad
• alfalfa sprouts
• dash of sea salt
• dash of pepper
• roll up
• cut in half
• look at the pretty inside
• close eyes, breathe deep and infuse with love

enjoy!

safely loved*

I don't feel very inspiring when it comes to this particular Valentines Day. I was away from home all week in a hotel with a microwave. So, I didn't bake any Valentine cookies or do any heart crafts like many of my loves did. In fact, this morning while waking up, wiping my eyes and shuffling my feet out to the kitchen, I kissed my Boho Hubby goodbye with a fuzzy dreaded head and we both forgot to wish one another a Happy Valentines Day. Uninspiring indeed.

What I do know is that I love my husband so true and it feels so damn good to feel safely loved by him. We're in a bit of a romantic funk with all that is going on, which both of us have gently talked about. When we discuss this, defenses don't come up because we are aware and admit that both of us equally need to put more intention into romance. I have a girlfriend that has a marriage I deeply admire. She once told me that when her children turned about three years old, she found both her and her husband feeling more sexy and wanton because their children were a bit more independent, so they had more time to focus on their relationship. I don't mean I am comparing myself to other marriages as just like people, all relationships hold their own kind of beauty and romance and life together. But it of course give me comfort to know others ebb and flow just as we do (with children or not).

We know we need to make time for just him and I and we are planning on getting a babysitter to go to a romantic Moroccan restaurant next weekend...sitting on silk pillows and eating with our fingers. YUM.

But for now, during this lovers holiday, just feeling loved for being wholly me is enough. To me, the sweet small things he does for both Cedar and I on a daily basis holds more value than a Valentine's card or a box of chocolates or a bouquet of flowers. Like last night when I was in the kitchen, wearing sweats and feeling smelly, cutting a pizza slice into tiny pieces for Cedar to eat and he came up behind me and kissed my neck telling me I looked sexy. Then later when he sacrificed watching his beloved hockey game for us to watch a family film together because that is what Cedar wanted.

Perhaps next year we will be about pink and red this or that. But this year, its about getting through the day and holding one another close when Cedar has finally fallen asleep for the night, and feeling safely loved in one another's arms.